And good lord I was an unhappy person. I can look back and remember everything I was going through and putting up with and just wow. I am so done with all that shit. I just decided. Like, just now, reading all of that back. I’ve been there and done that and am currently getting the divorce. I am not dealing with drama or nonsense or crazy ever again, because I am worth too much to deal with it. Not even for love, cuz I’m here to tell you that love is NEVER enough. Ever. Love isn’t going to do anything for anyone except cloud your judgement and get you into situations you should’ve never been in in the first place. I am 38 years old, single for the first time since I was 22 and you bet your ass I’m about to enjoy my life. I am about to finish some books and go out with friends and chill over at my mom’s house to watch all 13 episodes of Outlander since I had to turn off all the premium channels. If someone wants to be in my life, they will figure it the fuck out. They will wait. They will chase. They will try. And if they don’t, whatever. I have my shit together and am fairly easy on the eyes. I think I’ll be all right. You can call 2018 the year of my happy – and happy, just so you know, is an inside job.
My New Year’s post wouldn’t be complete without some life advice so here you go:
If it’s too good to be true, it’s not true. Period the end.
Hard times will show you who really cares about you. Cherish those people.
If you’ve tried everything you can try, it’s time to walk away. Don’t waist another second of your life on something that’s only causing you pain.
Everyone is fighting their own battel. Have courage and be kind. Every day.
And my life’s motto:
It is never too late to become what you might have been
What.A.Year. I mean, it’s been one crazy ride. Every time we thought nope, nothing could top this…something would come along and we’d be shaking our heads yet again. We’ve lost so many greats this year and I can’t help but wonder, was it this year or just that I’m getting older? I feel like this little experiment is democracy is coming to an end. We’ve clearly learned nothing from the ‘great’ nations that came before us, because none of them lasted. Greed and prejudice and a lack of respect for life cut them down one by one. Are we so far behind that? I hope we are, but I doubt it more and more. I hope we can get it together and find love in our hearts for everyone, because that’s what this whole America thing was supposed to be about. Freedom and respecting each other’s differences. Right? RIGHT?
Despite the unrest in the world, this has been the best year for me personally since 2012. I’m in love with my job (Yes. In love. It’s a thing.) and I’ve started writing for myself again. Best of all, I am finally going to own my own home again. As an introvert, this is a big deal for me. As someone who needs a home base and a safe haven from the world, having a space to call your own is monumental. I haven’t had that since 2012 and it truly made a difference in my mental wellness. We’re building a house and it should be ready in February. This house has every upgrade that I really wanted and I’m so excited. The process has been long due to unforeseen circumstances with the lots in the neighborhood, but satisfactory due to my amazing builder and their willingness to make me happy (bless their hearts).
Lessons learned in 2016:
Never leave things unsaid, good or bad. They will eat you alive either way.
Never settle, but allow yourself time to celebrate how far you’ve already come.
Gratitude journals will change your perspective and perception is most certainly reality.
And my personal favorite and life motto:
It is never too late to become what you might have been.